Friends don’t even want me anymore all I do is complain I’m so annoying and stupid Rhiannon tried to kill herself and didn’t even try to talk to me probably because she hates me and has begun to she keeps being really mean to me and I don’t know what I’ve done but apparently it’s something awful to make her try to kill herself it’s all my fault I’m so awful i just shouldn’t ever talk to express my true emotion, you’re acting like you only care about yourself, how YOUD feel if I died, not how I’D feel if YOU died. You don’t care what I’d be left with? Nobody? Nothing? Not a best friend? You’re perfectly fine without me, you’d rather be dead than be my friend, I’d rather be dead than be my friend too.
Ok, his mom calls me.
Tells me how great life is, apparently he told her to call me. I had to tell her we aren’t together anymore, what happened and blah blah blah. She said all the things I wanted to hear. Oddly enough? She told me that she asked what to do with my engagement ring last night, and he told her to leave it in his room..I’m so conflicted I’m so heartbroken and sick over this. He is going to call me and I’m so scared, I love him. I think. I don’t know anymore. I don’t know what I’m feeling anymore. Just painful doubt. God dammit why did I respond.
this is bad this is bad
I hate you